And now for the hard part….
So here we are, one week in… and now is when it starts to suck. The initial excitement of starting a new challenge, (whatever your personal challenge may be: starting school, quitting smoking, exercising, painting the entire house) which is always a huge boost at the beginning has worn off.
I look at it like climbing a REALLY big mountain. In the beginning it’s exciting and fun! You are going on an adventure! You bought new gear! You are going to OWN that mountain! Then after climbing and climbing AND CLIMBING you start to realize that you are still a REALLY long way from the top. It’s hot, your new shoes are giving you blisters and it would be so much easier to just slide back down the hill. After all, climbing a mountain is hard. Most people don’t do it, so why should you have to.
This is the inner demon that we fight against. The little voice of self doubt. It’s hard to battle yourself. It takes courage. It takes SUPPORT. It takes focus and determination. Sure, you don’t HAVE to climb that mountain. Hell, I don’t HAVE to lose 26 more pounds by the end of the year. I won’t explode into a million pieces if I don’t succeed. But do I want to fail myself?
This is where you have to set your priorities. What’s more important? Eating the bag of cheetos tonight, or being able to face yourself in the morning when you are brushing your teeth and knowing that you kicked ass the day before? What if you could wake up every day and say, “yes, I did a great job yesterday and I know I can do it again today!” Would that motivate you?
There are days when it feels impossible and that’s when you have to dig deep. That’s when it’s so important to have friends that you can lean on. People who understand WHAT you are going through, and who are there to listen to you complain or cry, or to give you a kick in the butt when you need it.
As I am writing this post tonight I am actually hiding in my bedroom. (With headphones on… gotta have that music kicking…) Why am I hiding in my room? Because I REALLY wanted to stuff my face with food. And we aren’t talking about spinach and carrots. I kept wandering back into the kitchen, opening the fridge, opening the pantry… surveying the contents… hunting for what it was that would make me feel full and content. On the verge of making a choice I would regret, I did what I had to do to get the heck outta there, to help me fight against myself and the compulsion to mindlessly scarf down whatever snacks I could find. I grabbed the laptop and hit the road (well actually, I just hit the stairs).
I don’t fully understand why food can be such a battle. In theory it makes sense to me that we should eat when hungry, that food is fuel. But in my reality, food is comforting, it’s part of celebrations, it’s a crutch, it’s the enemy. This is something I have to really work on, my fight/obsession with food. (Someone get me Dr Phil on the phone!) I am trying to learn to look at food as a necessary component to keep my body running, and to break it down into protein, carbs, nutrients and to see it as what my body needs at what time. THIS is where I have a huge lack of knowledge. So I am working on it! (I’ll report back when I find great resources to share with you all!)
I have never been a big fan of change. I am the type of person who will make a decision, then go back over the scenario and wonder if I made the right choice. (This makes my husband CRAZY). I think change, even when it’s good change, is hard. It’s easy to fall back into the old comfortable routine. To do things differently is scary and uncomfortable, but necessary. Here’s a great theory which shared with me by my good friend (who eventually will realize that I should be paying for his coaching services): What’s the definition of insanity? To keep doing the same thing over and over again and expect different results.
You know what? That’s so true!
By the way, it’s now Wednesday morning, and I did NOT end up raiding the pantry last night…and man does that feel good! I am ready to keep on moving up my mountain today and tonight (or this afternoon) when the slump threatens to hit… I will grit my teeth, and push through knowing that if I could do this yesterday, I can do it today.
Thank you to all of you who are supporting me on this journey. I am happy to be here to support you as well! Let’s beat this ol’ hill together!