‘Twas the night before second grade…
So here I sit, the night before my big guy starts second grade and I can’t believe tomorrow will be our third “first day of school” for him! Part of me feels like this is old hat, and part of me is still in shock that he is growing up so fast! I look at Jack and see all the crazy daily changes with him and forget that all of the challenging toddler stuff, will evaporate before we know it.
The two of them are so very different as far as personality is concerned, that it’s hard to remember that not so long ago Anthony also was pushing limits, learning a new word every day (pretty sure Jack repeated “shit” today… ooops! We will blame his father for that one) and trying to find his place in the world.
Now Anthony has a whole new set of worries and challenges. As we laid out his clothes for tomorrow he says to me, “but Mommy, what if everyone else is wearing a t-shirt and shorts? What if I am the only one wearing fancy clothes?!?” (Mind you it’s a Hawaiian shirt and khaki cargo shorts, not exactly a 3 piece suit…) The horror of being out of line with the rest of the kids has started in our house, and I know this is just the very beginning.
Second grade! It’s such an interesting age. Not a baby anymore, but not such a big guy either. I really struggle with how much I should expect and allow him to do. Is it ok to play outside in the yard with friends while we are in the kitchen? Is he ready to take on more chores and responsibilities? How do I know what is beyond his limit? How can I keep him safe if he is not under my wing?!? How can I make sure we don’t totally screw him up…
In a strange coincidence, one of my girlfriends from college posted a question on facebook asking about some music we all used to listen to. Several of the old gang started chiming in and before you know it a full blown cyber trip down memory lane was in effect. We had a lot of laughs and told some embarrassingly hilarious tales and then all had to log off early because of jobs, kids, etc. It feels like it was just yesterday, but in reality, it was 15 years ago!
In 15 years, Anthony (God willing) will have graduated college. (And Jack will be getting his license… oh dear Lord.)
My mother has always told me not to blink because she swears that is all the time it takes for them to grow up. I am starting to see that she is right. I think that part of it is because we try to do so much. Plus we are plugged in all the time, checking email and facebook from our phones. It’s easy to find yourself sucked into what everyone else says they are doing with their lives instead of living your own. I had an awful moment a little while back. Jack was napping and during the school year, that is my quiet time. Well, with Anthony home, there is no such thing as quiet, and there seems to be no “time” either! I was looking at something on my phone, and Anthony, who had been talking incessantly, as usual, says to me “Mommy, is your phone more interesting than I am?” Needless to say I jumped right up and started clearing off the mantle so that I’d have a space ready when my mother of the year award arrived later that day.
I have really made an effort to PUT THE PHONE DOWN (as I am always squawking at my husband to do… so far that hasn’t worked with him, but clearly I will still try). I want my boys to know that I really do think the world revolves around them, even though I have to be the bad cop, and I hope that by giving them as much of my attention as I can muster, that they will get that.
So my promise to myself, and my boys is to try to stay as present in the moment as I can, and to keep from blinking for as long as I can. To all my mom friends out there, good luck tomorrow and don’t forget to squeeze them at the bus stop, because in just a flash they will be too big, and won’t let us do that anymore!